Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Dainty sparks


 How sadly true it is to realise how happy memories 
never build a page on my notepads
Today, I would like to make some changes and add dainty sparks to the dingy notes.

I realise that love made me felt three things-
To be loved and never being able to return the same
To love and never being given the same
To be loved and happily giving the same

You made me feel the latter and even-though  I am afraid of being attached to temporary fondness, you make me unafraid of going about with it boastfully even so

How easily you made me experience all the sweet things i want to taste within my finite numbered days; you did it even more so casually and in the spur of the moment.

I’m thankful you do exist and I am still honestly adhering to what I said when i told you that you are like gold to me; demanding some refinement of course as we all are but that doesn’t make you any less revered.

Here’s to us.

Friday, January 14, 2022

The first thing you give up

I’m the first thing you give up on when the going gets tough. 

 I resisted prating to you for hours on end and then my fingers slipped;

Ì reached out to you but it only brings out an endless palaver of rage.

You didn’t love me, you never did.

I thought you did and that was why i knuckle under your mastery.

But I miss you though, unheedingly. 
Regardless of your ever absent requite.


Wednesday, January 5, 2022

PATHIAN HNEN ATANGIN ENG NGE KAN BEISEI ANG?


 


Pathian kan rina hian Engkim a ti thei tih kan hria a kan ring bawk a; Kan tana tha tur, tuarna kan pumpelhna tur, kan hlimna tur, kan thatna tur, kan damna turin thil a ti thei tih pawh kan hria. Mahse a ti duh a ni tih hi kan ring ngam lo thin. “Ama thu thu a lawm”, tiin engpawh thleng se inpeih turin rilru kan inbuatsaih thin. Ni e, a thu thu a ni tak meuh mai, chuvang tak chuan a ni kum tam tak kal taah khan Isuan kraws-ah min tuarsak ni, vawiina i damna turin, naktuka i damna turin. Hetiang ni lova hrilhtu che chu rinna ni lovin, rinhlelhna zawk a ni.

Mahse maw, Kristian nih hi hri laka him na damdawi ni se, miin dam a duh vangin Pathian a zui ang; hausakna leh hmuingil ngei ngei na a ni ti se, miin hausak a duh avangin Pathian a zui ang. Thilpek petu aiin a thilpek an thlang zawk ngei ang. Harsatna tawk miah lo ila, kan Rinna hian ṭhang lian tur a nawrtu a nei dawn lo a ni. Lal DAVIDa pawh hriak thih a nih hnu khan harsatna tam tak a paltlang kha.

LalSaul-an thah tum a a veh lai khan, thurawn petuten hlauh tur an hrilh laiin a chhanchhuak theitu Pathian lam a en tlat kha. Khawvelin hlauh tur a hrilh lai che in, a aia lian zawk Pathian en tlat rawh. A ni chuan kan vela thil thlengte hi kan thatna turin a her rem zel thin.

Keipawh hi COVID-19 ka vei ve ang tih ngaihna ka hre lo; ka chhungkhat laina ten ZMCa ka awm tur min thlah dan kha, Davidan beih a tawh laia a thurawn dawn nen khan ka tehkhin a, mahse JEHOVAH- RAPHA tidamtu Pathian ka en zawk a. COVID-19 khan chakna a chan tak loh kha. 
Tunah chuan mithiamte’n anmahni siam ngei Vaccine latute ai chuan, a vei tawhte’n COVID hrik thar an do theihna a chak zawk tih an hmuchhuak tawh. Tichuan, tunah chuan natna do theihna( immunity) chak tak ka lo neih phah ta a ni.

Pathian hian min tidam tawh a, thlarauva kan chan tawh hi, tisa a a lanchhuah hun nghah chhunga nghet taka rinna nen a lo dingte hian hnehna ni chu an hmu thin. Harsatna kan tawh pawh kan tana tha turin a her rem lehzel thin. Pathian lak atang hian eng nge i lo beisei thin? I thatna tur a duh takzet tih i inhrilh thin em? I hlim a, i dam a, i hmuingil a duh tih i inhrilh thin em? Pathian tha, i hlimna leh i damna duhtu Pathian i nei tih inhria la, Amah atangin thiltha beisei la, Tihdamna thlarauva i chan tawh chu tisa a a lanchhuah theihna turin rinna in lo puang zel la, a tithlawn lovang che.

Tuesday, June 29, 2021

Not Right Now


You detest a girl who loves you absurdly;
She’s naive and oblivious of your intentions.
She doesn’t  know how much to give and
She doesn’t know how much to expect
Wherefore she was all in, all ready to accede.
Even after her cognition of being unaccounted for;
In the life you plan ahead for yourself
She wanted to stay, still and so
For a little while, to fill in the gaps 
Even to be someone you’d dispose off. 
Later is fine, even-though i wish not 
But not right now, Just for a little while longer
Stay with me, let me hold on a little longer.



Tuesday, April 20, 2021

It would bring great pleasure, to be loved by you that much.

As he told me how much he gave up himself for the girl he loved; and i think to myself, “It would bring great pleasure, to be loved by you that much.”

I recalled of the many things i vainly did for love,
How much people would do for that special person and my never being the one.

But it is okay, to love like you’ve never been hurt and daring to give into submission; caring less of  what could go wrong.

That is what love is, to be unafraid.



Friday, April 2, 2021

Isua thihna leh Newton’s law

 Newton's third law: 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.


 

Isua khan kraws a thih kha a phu reng em?

A hnuaia Bible chang tarlante hian a sawi fiah awm e.

1 Petera 2:22-

Ani chuan thil sual eng mah a ti lo va, a kâah bumna thu a chhuak hek lo. 23Hau a nih pawhin a hau lêt lo va, a tuar laiin a vau lêt hek lo, dik taka rorêl ṭhîntu hnênah chuan a inkawltîr zâwk a ni.

2 Korinth 5:21-

Ama zârah Pathian ṭhatna kan lo chan ve theih nân, sual rêng rêng hre lo chu, keimahni avângin Pathianin sualah a siam a ni.

Hebrai 4:15-

Kan Puithiam lalber neih hi kan chak lohnate min hriatpui pha lo a ni lo va, keimahni ang bawka kawng tinrênga thlêmna tâwk tawh, sual si lo chu a ni.

1 Johana 3:5-

Ani chu sualte la bo tûrin a lo lang a, amahah chuan sual a awm lo tih in hria e.

Sual avanga kraws a thih kha a phu miah lo, mahse kan sual ( ka sual, khawvel sual) a phurh miau avangin kan sualna hi thihna khawp hial a ni miau si a. Keichu thi tlak ka ni a, chatuan hremhmuna tla tur ka ni mahse Ani chuan sualna a nei lo. A phu vang ni miah lovin, kan tawrh ai a tuar a, thi khawp hialin thu a zawm a nih kha.

Chumi tluk zet chuan a tir a Newton’s law ka tarlan ang khian, thiltih reng reng a tlukpui leh letling chiah chu he kan chenna khawvelah hian dan angin a thleng ṭhin. Isua thihna avangin kan nung a, sualna nei lo khenbeh a nih rual khan misual hi chhuahzalen a fel a puan ka lo ni, Pathian mit a thi tawh hian thiltihtheihna ka chang a, sualna nei lo felna kha ka sual hle chung hian ka felna a ruatsak ka lo ni ta.

 Nang leh kei hi, Misual kan ni a, Pathian lak aṭanga thi tawh, mi bawlhlawh kan ni. Mahse Isua felna leh nihnate kha kan phu vang ni miahlovin kan hnenah a thlawna, ring apiangten an dawn atan kan chan a lo ni ve ta. Thihna ruala kan thih ve avangin, a thawhlehnaah pawh a ruala kaihthawh kan ni.  

JOHANA 3:16

Pathianin khawvêl a hmangaih êm êm a; tichuan, a Fapa mal neih chhun a pe a, amah ring tawh phawt chu an boral lohva, chatuan nun an neih zâwk nân.

2 Korinth 5:21-

Ama zârah Pathian ṭhatna kan lo chan ve theih nân, sual rêng rêng hre lo chu, keimahni avângin Pathianin sualah a siam a ni.

Ephesi 2: 8-9 

Rinna avânga khawngaihnaa chhandam in ni, chu chu in thawh chhuah a ni lo, Pathian thilpêk a ni.

ROM 6:23 

Sual man chu thihna a ni si a; Pathian thilthlâwnpêk erawh chu kan Lalpa Krista Isuaah chuan chatuan nunna a ni.


A thlawna kan dawn, phu lo te chunga hmangaihna avanga nunna Isua zara kan nei hi kan va han vannei tak em. Mi thar, thilsiam thar kan lo ni ta a, thiltihtheihna leh thuneihna nasa tak nei kan lo ni leh thei ta. Thiltih leh thilpeka kan hnehbân theih ngai loh Pathian hian chu dinhmun ropui tak chu a fapa Isua kaltlangin a rawn thawk a. Thisen thiltihtheihna , thawhlehna thiltihtheihna ropui taka thawktu Thlarau Thianghlim chu kan chhungah a cheng ta a; kan thlarau hian chu Thlarau Thianghlim nen a inpawl chu chakin a rûm vawng vawng ṭhin.

Kan tisanain kan thlarau duhzawng a hlamchhiah chang hian kan nun a ngui a, zawhna tam tak kan neih phah ṭhin. Malsawmna, thuneihna leh thiltihtheihna tam tak kan dawng tawh mek a, rinna a dawn belh tur van khian a khawl ṭeuh bawk. Hawh u, ram ṭha lehzual chakin i thawk sauh sauh ang u.

♥️


Friday, January 8, 2021

Death- like grip

 I held you tight with a 

“death-like grip”

But still, you slipped through.




Sunday, December 13, 2020

With all of your limits



I want you so much

But I know that it is not going to last

Every time I look at you
I need to get myself ready for a goodbye 

Knowing that I’m holding on to something so delicate
I’m still giving you myself piece by piece
Never knowing when you’ll call it off
I still choose to accept your forever with all of it’s limits

Now, you don’t even ask me to give you my hand
You’re holding it as if it was always yours
And I’m foolishly letting you take me over
Like I’m never finding someone better

Tonight, I’m sure that I will want to go back to this day
Wishing that I didn’t give you the power to kill me softly
But tonight, I still choose you over a million what ifs
Because I want you with all of your limits.



Thursday, December 3, 2020

Several times over


I wish that you would keep me safe in your heart; 

I will do the same for you, several times over.



Propositions


 I used to keep my secrets to Myself my whole life and 
in my latter teenage life i learnt to share. 

Sharing was okay and sharing was healing me at a certain point 

and it felt good until they were used against me. 

The, in my early- twenties I hold it in once again. 

I have no more courage to share my deepest feelings, for I'm aware that I will be judged no matter what. 

Why are people so insensitive?

Being a good listener, you can save someone else from the hands of cold thoughts but now,

 the world is cruel and we won't let people around us heal because  we are so judgmental. 

I am becoming more irresponsible 

I put the blame on everyone else around me

Hardly i ever reflect on myself

But this is what i turn out to be

At least I hope my propositions might awake a soul






I'm scared of...


 I'm scared of being loved

Because I'm scared of never having the chance to feel it again. 


I'm scared of being happy 

Because I'm scared  of being reminded of how good it felt and never feel it again.


I'm scared of having you

Because I'm scared of being  left alone 

Or having everything else except you. 






Its not a big deal


It's not a big deal-

If you are messing up a bit,

Struggling to find out what comforts you and what brings you peace;

It's not a big deal-

Failing to move forward,

Getting stuck where you are and watching people transcending.

Your day will come-

As long as your heart pulsates 

There will come a day for you to say 

That all those things were not a big deal.






Thursday, August 6, 2020

I wish that I was good enough



I wish that I was good enough...
Good enough, to at least have the courage
The courage, to ask you to stay.

 

Monday, June 1, 2020

Like a fangirl



Everytime, I look at my phone in hopes of 
him being the one who's calling..

But just like that, the hope turns into hurt, 
then the feeling of rejection slides in..

I feel like a fangirl, watching you from afar 
and you never even wondering how I'm doing.. 









Saturday, May 30, 2020

Everybody wants to hear your sad story


Everybody wants to hear your sad story 
until they become a part of it. 


Oftentimes they will be adding scenes to your sad story. 

You'll be left more broken if your luck deserts you like mine does. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

No, love is a one- way street.



He said, "love is a two- way street" 
but i guess it never is. 
I guess love is mostly a one-way street, 
it begins and ends there more often than not. 
I guess I'll continue to grow where you left off,
 love you for quite a bit 
and maybe someday you'll come back 
or maybe I'll run out of more to give. 
When the day comes maybe I could finally smile and laugh again,  
eat and dine with lots of appetite,  
maybe this blood pressure would come back to normal, 
maybe you'll come back to hold me or 
I'll be setting off from where you left off. 
But as of now, I'll be waiting. 
Even a day feels like years 
but i don't mind waiting for a century for you to come back; 
Hoping you'll love me again like the first day you do.



Thursday, March 5, 2020

I was a part of that wonderful crowd.


I'll never forget bathing in ice cold water 
Sharing a seat with the bus as we're floating on water
Soaring along with the eagles and sharing the bed with the beetles
Cooking meals using firewoods and roaming about in the woods
Taking bumpy rides and singing amidst the bonfires
The sight of sunsets and the smiles on happy faces
The frozen dew drops and the melancholic star sights

All together remaining in my memories, in pictures and in sounds, in videos and in the odour and in all of my six

senses. 

I'll never forget that I was a part of that wonderful crowd through all of my coming ages. 

















Wednesday, March 4, 2020

In silence I chose to proclaim all the loud noises.









Sometimes i can hear your text messages;
The tone of your voice and the intensity of anger transcending. 
If only you paid heed to the emotions i left for you to read,
In the silence i chose to proclaim all the loud noises inside my head. 
If only you didn't hastily hurt me but rather take time to hold me, 
I'll never be writing these lines and you would never be a part of my sad story.












"Anu"













"Anu, la ti duai duai rual i ni toh lo" min tih thleng a, 
"Anu" tia koh tur neih ve ka va han chak tak em.. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

What it is





Well,  i don't care if it's fiction or more 

That makes me stereotype some boys as I've known much more;
Than to start trusting and giving your heart
Just because of the reputation and the words you heard,
Be it coming out from their own mind or
 the words from the Holy Scriptures 
All men are the same underneath.
They'll tell you that men have that nature 
and ask for your heart at the same time
Apologizing for what the other guy did and intend to do the same.
He will call you "His" but he'll never be "yours"
He will Ask for your attention while he'll have lust for someone else who gives him little attention . 
I'm not telling you not to trust a guy but I'm telling you, "You'll "untrust" him soon".