From Strangers to Strangers.

From Strangers we part as Strangers. 
Strangers with regrets and strangers with memories;
Strangers with empty hands and strangers with heavy hearts;
Strangers who don't fight for the things they love and strangers who chose to stay as strangers.

Inclined to saying Goodbye.

It had only been a few minutes and now it feels like a long eternity of silence.

Souls are connected by a simple "Hello" and easily divided by a "Goodbye"

"What have I done to myself?"

"Why Was I so thoughtless?"

Easily giving myself in for things that could break me, things that are yet so distant but yet so near,things that are out of reach but could harm me so deep, a soul that touched me but left me. 

Within a few days of not caring about what the future holds, yet again i am left with no choice but to breathe in the hurt. This fragile heart in search of happiness is only inclined to an endless loop of sorrow. 

But the blame is on me, i fall in love so easily but slowly fall out of love. 

A note to self.

Mamawhna che ka neih hmain ka tan i awm a;
Mamawhna che ka neih laiin ka tan i awm bawk a, 
I tel lova awm ka ngam loh veleh min kalsan leh si. 
I tel lovin ka lo nui a, ka lo tap tawh. 
Hmangaihte sunin, hmangaihten min lo phatsan tawh; 
Dam reng chung hian ka thahrui zawng zawng hian min lo kiamsan tawh a, 
Thi si lo hian nunna reng reng nei lovin ka lo nung tawh; 
Hahdamna zawng reng rengin phurrit ka in siam a, 
Hlimna ka hmuh veleh, tahin a zui bawk thin. 
Chuti chung chuan, tun thleng hian hlau miah lovin, ka nat tawh zat dawn lovin, huaisen takin ka la pen tang tang thin. 

I found you and then I loose you.

my trusted advisors.

So, you told me that there is nothing left for me and I am slowly coming to figure it out.

All the things you said to me about how there is no memory of us saying that that we had not created any of such and mocked at the late night calls that made me fall in love,  saying that it was lame and just a fling.

Can't you see that those meant more to me than it did to you?

 I am a one stupid girl who enjoys late night calls, a stupid girl who chose to hurt her own feelings for a guy who mocks at her honesty, a stupid girl who doesn't know how to stop loving, a stupid girl  who is unloved. 

I never knew that I would found you so easily and loose you so easily because keeping you was not so easy. 
I found you and then I loose you. 

Because it is imploding inside me.

With every bit of my strength trying to persuade him but at the same time trying to let go of my desire of him; I am losing my patience and i am losing control.

Of all the people living within this perimeter and beyond, my heart is attached to his while his is bound with the intention to deny me of my affections for him. 

I wish I could tell him about all the things that happened inside my body today. I was feeling the pain inside the bones of my chest, breathing was hard and living inside my body was agonizing. 

I know that it is wrong to have 
this feeling and i know that it is harder for you than it is for me but i can't help but express all of the feelings that are colliding because of your presence.

Sorry, but i don't want to hold it in
Because it is imploding inside me.