Before Life steals all of my innocence, I’m deciding to play fair with my heart.

When I do anything I hardly think of what people would feel about my actions. I am not trying to please people or win them over,I don’t expect them to please me either. What I want friendship or any other relationship to be is “free”, like free from all the judgmental attitudes like, “what my friend would think of me if I do this and that”, “maybe my friend wouldn’t like me anymore”, or maybe “my friend would gossip about me if I indulge into such and such”, having to care of all those would be so tiring and heavy. I’d rather have none of those relationships.

 When I was 18 years old, that was just two years ago I faced so many of these. Before, I was free from all of these because I have good friends and good family, the family which had always been a place where people have spiritual conventions and talk about their testimonies because we are Christians.

 But as I passed my 12^th grade, I shifted to a whole new level of experiences. Seriously, it took only two persons to make me realize all the bitterness this earth had borne. They are the trials and now I’m going through it so well. It took one night and a one topic conversation to introduce me to a gossiping, awkward, total acting but a real live kind of friendship.

I came to know that this kind of relationships are real, people are not so kind, people are not so intimate even with themselves,  people are bitter inside and people don’t deserve the purest intimacy all the time, people could be mean, friends could be mean or should I no longer call them “FRIENDS”? I don’t want anything to do with them. I’m terrified by their act of friendship but I want to put no blame on them maybe Life happened to be hard on them, for having such ugliness inside and also on the outside:D ha-ha

 From there onwards I was changed, people knew that I did and they were not comfortable with the new me, because I was turned into someone so different from what they knew earlier, but life happened. “Good things don’t last forever, nor does sadness” I find new interests, mostly I got back to the old me, I resumed to write, I resumed to compose (as you’re reading :D) and I’m back into music, I find new melodies, I find good companies, I get back with my old friends and get to know that “Old is really gold”

I’m so much alright now; right here, lots of gaps between me and the frauds I told you about. I don’t know if they are happy where they are, or if there is anything going on, these paragraphs are not meant to be about them as much as my life is not. Lol.

And tonight, you might feel like you had a tough time, you may feel burdened with the responsibilities, maybe so carried away with the chores that you don’t even have time for yourself, stay calm, tell yourself to pause, get yourself doing something that you used to love, find time to stay true to yourself, let all the need of pleasing or serving anyone else flee off of you, get yourself a time to think, ask yourself if what you’re in right now makes you happy inside, not having to convince yourself by the bane or the boon of such things you are doing. If you can’t give yourself the answers TURN TO JESUS, He is the answer to everything, if you don’t know much about Christianity or anything about Jesus, whole heartedly recite these lines:

     “LORD, I need you tonight, to help me find the purpose laid for me. I need you because I don’t even know that I need you, speak to me and show me the way, I submit myself unto your guidance and help me believe in you. In Jesus’ name, Amen”

 This prayer will get you something new, “Jesus” this name is the most powerful name man had called upon, I’m sure He knows how to help you. He gave me a new life and a purpose, I’m sure that He has that power to change you too, if you just rely on Him and if you just give Him that space, and if you choose Him, because He won’t force you, HE SETS EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM FREE, let HIM set you free. Freedom is what human needs most.               
Now I am free of all the things, I had talked about earlier because HE HELPED ME, JESUS HELPED ME.