It feels like my soul is not even living inside my body anymore..

caught a bird in flight.

I know that indulgence into drugs, alcohol or any odlf that sort could bring a bad addiction. "It will hurt my body", that i knew and still im steering clear from those and my body ain't marked by those scars...but now,  i realized what i did not know. 
I didn't know that you could become an addiction,  i didnt know that you could hurt my body. Now,  my body is wounded by the feelings you made me feel. 
I should have been telling myself that you were a poison for me and I should have never let you catch me. 
Temporary plans that you made for us are now permanent attachments for me. I'm going in a wrong direction and i'm a nobody for you. 
It feels like my soul is not even living inside my body anymore . I'm devoid of all the feelings that the heart could ever feel, my mind and my body could no longer coordinate..
What my mind thinks is impractical for my body to prove. What i want is what's hurting me,  i don't suffocate but its hard to breathe, i'm still living, but what for?