I CAN PREDICT YOUR PLANS :D

I can predict your plans. Not exactly on how you are going about it or how you will get there but I’m sure it’s about happiness, success, good vacations on exotic places. Maybe marriage, setting up family, have beautiful kids, setting up business, do well with job, build up great careers, owning apartments, dress well, eat healthy and have a sound sleep. I am right, right? :D

None of it includes being in jail, getting broke, ailments, failures or death.

I don’t include those in my list either, except one. Surprised? Huh? Well, it isn’t normal so you should be. That one thing is DEATH, honestly I’m diligently preparing for that one thing to finally take me away from here because Death is the only way I would reach to my dreams. What I desire is not from here, it doesn’t belong with the attractions on this earth, it doesn’t agree with GRAVITY.

GRAVITY is what’s holding me down; I need Death to help me,my soul defy Gravity, to help me fly to HEAVEN. Every person I love is waiting for me there, I don’t know what’s calling them home so early but I badly need to join them.

On knowing what could happen to my health on the near future, I’m deciding to act differently and I know that I don’t have much time here. Savings and selfish attitudes don’t usually get on my way because I love to give things away. I want to be carefree; I want to have nothing except Love.

I don’t want to keep any treasure to myself, I don’t have much of them either and I know, I’m sure that I had proven myself the joy of giving. I want to help people out, I want to make people feel recognized, I want to make them feel that they are given attention, I just want to make people feel important and I want to remind them that our world isn’t so hopeless.

To finally get over the Materialistic mindset I had earlier, I went through a lot of breaks and burns. I always denied that I needed those lessons; I never want to convince myself that those built me up and now, surely I accept the Truth and I feel amazing to own this new perspective.

It takes toils; take souls, takes time to run to where you belong and still I’m searching. WHERE I belong is wide open spaces, calm atmosphere, long drapes hanging over wide windows, a rocking chair, big stereos to play loud music, gazing at the view of a calm beach, wearing laces, holding a pen writing down anything that’s on my mind. I just want to spend time dreaming, escaping from what this earth is offering.

I just want to get lost, but not having to die;

I want to vanish, but never cause any loss;

 I want to disappear, but I want nobody to search for me;

I want to escape, but be somewhere else.

You had dreamt of those right? 

 

WHAT THESE LITTLE ATTRACTIONS DOES TO LIFE:

" AS my phone rang, i picked up the call and

 'she wants to talk to you,' 

was what your uncle told me, we talked and talked " HE SAID. 

"SO, what did you guys talked about?" that was my question.

then he says, "YOU"

"What's there to talk about? did you guys really talk? when?" i asked him many questions because i wasn't expecting this conversation.

Well, that was what my dad and i talked about last February, 2015.

The conversation he talked about happened before my mom was in comma because of her brain tumor and cancer that spreads all over her body, she asked my uncle to ring up my dad, as she was weak and half of her body paralyzed.  

My mom and dad had a sad, tragic but interesting love story, and i don't know even half of it because my mom would never tell me those, maybe just like me, she's afraid of bursting out with tears as she recites the story or the facts.

Sorry that i can't tell you much about this, and i cant even remember what i tried to post at first, sorry about that :)

Ummm, yeah, my dad was a fighter, a street fighter but then as my mom came along, he wanted to change how people talks about him, because he finally wants to leave his  old life and become a better man, for a husband and for a father. But old habits die hard and your friends gradually don't change, it was hard for him to completely erase what people knew of him.

When my mom's dad, my grandfather, being overprotective heard about my mom and her boyfriend who literally is a massive mess, he could not allow that relationship to continue. But my mom was many hours away from home and living next to my dad's quarters, grandpa didn't have much power, and my father being so in love and so desperate for my mom, couldn't control his feelings. HE AND MOM RAN :) ( this is so cute, i must say) RAN in a sense that he brought my mom home and so i came into being! TinggG!

But my grandparents couldn't let that be, they asked my mom to go back home and my mom being disciplined all through life, fears the Lord and her father,and she get back home being a few months pregnant. 

I was born and my dad once told me that i was born just the way they wanted me to be.

Mom and dad used to talk about what i would grow up to be, to whom i'd be more alike :)

My dad says that i took my nose from him, my eyes, my lips and my hair just like my mom, just the way they wanted me to be :)

He told me that i was perfect, and he would always tell me in different ways, by words, by action, how much he loves me.

Today is my 20th birthday, this story is way older than me. Today these two people are terribly missed.

Mom is busy doing some praise and worship in heaven and my dad is probably babysitting my one year old stepbrother.

I'm glad that mom and dad finally moved on, enjoying their separate ways, but wait they left me  :) i know that its for the better, the HOLY GHOST is with me and providing me everything.

Thank you for reading and enjoy your love lifes.